The Phantom City

Notes from our travels across a mysterious world.

Reasons not to shave my head

Each summer I go through the same experience of getting really annoyed with how hot my hair is, and thinking about shaving it off. So, I decided to blog some of the reasons I can think of for not doing it, for future reference.

1. I’m a little afraid that, if my hair started growing back, it would end up looking like Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen‘s hair did his freshman year. Seriously, that dude had some weird spiky hair going on.

2. I’ve had the same hairstyle since sixth grade. Why change now? And would it even be possible, or would my hair actively resist change? Maybe it’s like Superman’s hair by now?

3. These are things I’m afraid I would find on my scalp, if I could see it: A birthmark, a barcode, a vestigial third eye, tattooed messages of things I didn’t really need to remember anytime soon. (Memento. Excellent movie. See it.)

4. Too much work. I’m already lazy about shaving my face. And still bad at it. I can’t imagine trying to shave the back of my head. I’d need transfusions.

5. Seriously, my beautiful hair? What if it doesn’t come back? I’ll never be that pretty again.

6. There is potential that light reflecting off the whiteness of my scalp could cause an air and ground navigation hazard.

7. Yul Brynner looked awesome bald. On the other hand, hair is my evidence I’m not a large, mobile, noisy potato.

2 Comments

  1. Reason 8. Lorrie loves your thick hair. She might not love you as well if you shave it (think Steven Colbert).

    Reason 9. What sort of clippers could cut through your hair? Again, Steven Colbert. The number of clippers that you would break getting a shaved head is not good for the environment or economy. Yeah, that’s it.

  2. i’ve had my head shaved more than once in my life… so let me tell you… don’t… just get it a little shorter. The main thing with shaving your head…. is sunburn, which seems mild until you remember how important that skin is for cooling etc. short hair, plus sweat works much better.

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