Saturday Spam 2
A while back, Spam seemed to know me a little too well. Let’s see how familiar it is with me today.
A sampling of subject lines:
I was just on my cam.. where did you go
Well, “Bekki,” I actually just got to my computer…wait, how do you know when I’m at my computer?
I’m 19, Want to see me in my dorm?
Right, and walk all the way from visitor parking during the summer. Not likely.
Your next purchase at American Eagle is Free!
It would have to be.
why…
Why indeed.
Those young people taking the position you deserve because you lack a Degree?
It’s not the degree. It’s their speed, strength, and agile minds. Darn young’uns.
Younger girls, older guys?
Well, my wife is younger than I am. (Great, I’m getting old-guy spam, and I can’t really object to it.)
Take pleasure from There’s a super-product waiting to turn you into Superman in …
YES!!! Finally! Ever since I was a child I wished there was some way to turn into Superman. Perhaps this will be answer I’ve sought.
…click…
Uh, wow…I guess not. That wasn’t about being Superman at all. I mean, I guess Superman…No, that just seems weird.
It was worth opening just for the phrase “supernatural intimate,” though. 
Tanisha
No, I’m not Tanisha.
Trudy
No.
Elba
No…What is this?
Attention Women – Complimentary advice about your credit cards..
Oh, I see the problem. I think you’re operating on a fundamental misunderstanding, Spam. You don’t know me well this day at all.
August 21st, 2006 at 10:51 am
Okay, this younger business has got to stop. I am 2.5 years younger than you. You make it sound like you robbed a cradle or something. I was 23 when we met and 24 when we started dating. I was in my 30′s when we married. You did not rob the cradle. End rant.
August 21st, 2006 at 10:55 am
Yet I am an older guy, and you are younger, so in that case Spam knows me. Besides, that age gap left a huge difference in our knowledge of Seventies cartoons.