The Phantom City

Even later on this report. Maybe I should just accept the inevitable.

Tried to adjust my starting lineup based on opponents. Not smart.

QB Drew Brees: 4 INTs, 1 fumble. Are you kidding? He’s going to find out he’s colorblind before the end of the season.

WR Marques Colston: If it’s completed, it’s completed to Colston.

WR Calvin Johnson: 58 yards, and then a back injury. Hopefully he’ll still be ready to go this week.

WR Wes Welker: Even just a little bit of Tom Brady passing is enough to lead my receivers.

RB Adrian Peterson: The rock of my team. And yeah, he’s on the Vikings, which means Brad Childress will bench him soon because he hates success.

RB Derrick Ward: I started him, even though he was playing against Washington. That means I cursed Washington. Dang it.

TE Dallas Clark: I can deal with a touchdown per game.

K Jason Elam: No field goals. Jacksonville traded offenses with Denver.

DEF Carolina: How do you not get interceptions out of Joey Harrington?

Points Scored: 68. Dropped to seventh.

Points Left on the Bench: 38. Well, not much help there. 168 points this season.

Big Changes: Dropped Derrick Ward for RB Brian Leonard. Ward’s carries will drop now that the Giants are getting healthier. On the other hand, this is Leonard’s first real chance to show what he can do.

Benched No More: QB Ben Roethlisberger. Brees needs to sit for a while. WR Bernard Berrian comes in for Colston’s bye week, but hopefully QB Brian Griese can be more consistent. And perhaps RB Willis McGahee this week against Cleveland.

Watching: QB Matt Schaub, because Brees is having some problems. However, Schaub’s line and wide receivers are all injured.

On TV tonight: Football, of course. Day filled with upsets.

Running a bit late on this week’s update, but at least I get to watch Syracuse embarrass Louisville while I’m at it. (31-14 Syracuse, right now. Their road uniforms look a lot less like they made them themselves. Here’s their home uniform from the Washington game.)

I made a few adjustments to the starting lineup last week. Paid off a bit.

QB Ben Roethlisberger: Seriously, I had to start him. He was going up against the Bills. However, the Steelers’ run-oriented offense is a problem for starting him all year.

WR Marques Colston: The New Orleans offense is still terrible, but Colston got one of the touchdowns.

WR Calvin Johnson: What’s the record for touchdowns for a rookie?

WR Bernard Berrian: Seriously? KC stopped him? The best wide receiver on a team with Rex Grossman is only as good as Rex Grossman.

RB Frank Gore: His mom died last week, and he played and played well. Tough man.

RB Adrian Peterson: Got held to 66 yards rushing by Detroit, but also had 50+ yards receiving. I’m going to call him Roger Craig.

TE Dallas Clark: Peyton’s finally figuring out how awesome Clark can be. Or maybe it’s just the fact everyone runs Cover Two now, so the tight end is always open.

K Jason Elam: Denver fans must be frustrated about their problems punching the ball into the endzone. I’m loving it.

DEF Carolina: As a Panthers fan, I just have to say “Ouch.”

Points Scored: 97. Oddly enough, still only good enough to move into sixth place in a nine-team league. One team scored 160. (Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson.)

Points Left on the Bench: 62. Not bad. My starters definitely outperformed my bench this week. 130 points so far.

Big Changes: Not much. Dropped RB Thomas Jones for RB Kevin Jones. Kevin’s been a fixture on my fantasy football teams the last few years, and he’s back from injury.

Benched No More: No permanent changes, probably, but an experiment. Let’s see how RB Derrick Ward does against the Redskins. (As a Skins fan as well, I hope he does well and no one else does.) WR Wes Welker should get his share of catches in the Patriot offense, and I’m hoping QB Drew Brees has a breakthrough game this week.

Watching: WR Jacoby Jones, still. Andre Johnson’s injury means a starting spot, but what can he do with it? QB Matt Schaub, because he’s steadily getting better.

On TV tonight: (I’ve watched too much PTI.) The Great Dictator (1940), on TCM at 8 PM. Great movie, and surprisingly touching, like most Chaplin films.

Wow, 38-21 Syracuse in the fourth quarter. Ha ha.

No, those three words are not from a spam promoting the way to greater girth…no, that would make too much sense. They are, however, the main plot device from movie #1 on the Cracked.com list The 10 Best Animated Movies for (Traumatizing) Kids.

And here I was thinking Watership Down, which still bothers me, would be the freakiest movie on the list.

(A commenter on the article points out the characters are not Raccoons, but Tanuki, otherwise known as Raccoon Dogs. I’m thinking adding the word Dog does not improve the idea.)

Link courtesy of Too Many Topics, Too Little Time, which points out that the words are not magic. Probably just the actual testicles.

At least, that’s my pimp name, apparently. I like it, though. Easy to work into conversation. “Ready to go on a Macktastic Voyage?”

Link courtesy of ACC Basketblog.

Dum da da dum da da dum da da dum dum dum dum…Okay, so it’s not NFL Films.

Only a couple of weeks ago I brought you the thrilling tale of adventure that was my first live fantasy football draft. Now you get to see how it turned out. Lucky you. (Okay, so I’m stalling instead of mowing the yard. That could be a weekly series, right?)

My starting lineup wasn’t exactly one for the ages, but I was curious to see how they did. My ignorance of the usual Yahoo leagues meant that what I had been assuming was a head-to-head league turned out to be a points league, so a season is long enough to get things turned around in case my guys didn’t feel like playing the first week.

Starting for the Generals last week, with some of my thoughts after their games:

QB Drew Brees: So Indianapolis can defend? Who knew?

WR Marques Colston: The first time I saw him he was triple-covered. I have a feeling I’m going to be watching that a lot.

WR Jerry Porter: Not only does Daunte Culpepper not end up as the starting QB for the Raiders, everyone who was eligible must have caught more passes than Porter. Of course, he might just be working his way back slowly.

WR Calvin Johnson: Nice. Imagine what he could do as a starter. Can you hear me, Martz?!?

RB Willis McGahee: I actually watched the Ravens play and pulled for them to score, rather than be swallowed by the earth. So who scores on a running play? Glorified fullback Musa Smith. McGahee might put up yards, but now I think Brian Billick is on a personal mission to screw up my team. I mean, he’s got to be thinking about something besides football, right? Seriously, he just runs the halfback into the line most plays. To the trading block, McGahee!

RB Frank Gore: Couldn’t stay up late enough for his game. He scored a touchdown against the Cardinals. The NFC West lies defenseless before him.

TE Dallas Clark: He rushed. He actually rushed the ball.

K John Kasay: He’s a kicker.

DEF Carolina: Thank you, Stephen Jackson, and your tiny, delicate hands. Two fumbles add up nicely.

Points Scored: 68. Currently seventh place in a nine-team league.

Points Left on the Bench: 68. Apparently I’m not psychic enough to foresee the resurgence of Big Ben against a Cleveland team at least two years away and the amazing abilities of Adrian Peterson against a terrible defense. I’m going to try and keep track of this to see where my bench would end up in the league.

Big Changes: Goodbye John Kasay, Muhsin Muhammad, and Jerry Porter. Kasay is the Original Panther, but not irreplacable in this context. The guy throwing to Moose prefers another man now, and Porter got outplayed by a UNC point guard.

Hello, K Jason Elam, RB Derrick Ward, and WR Drew Bennett. I wouldn’t have dropped Kasay, but Elam’s game-winning kick as time expired is worthy of respek. The Giants starting running back and QB went down with injuries, which means Ward is going to be getting a lot of attention. And I just couldn’t believe Bennett was even available. Apparently he was injured. Not like it’s going to slow him down much.

Benched No More: Definitely Adrian Peterson. Possibly QB Ben Roethlisberger and WR Bernard Berrian. I’ll have to think about that.

Watching: WR Jacoby Jones, RB Kevin Jones, TE Jeff King, RB Brian Leonard. Come back soon, Kevin Jones. The Generals need you again.

In terms of being unprecedented, possibly the biggest upset in college football history. Just doing their part to make the Big Ten Network exciting.