The Phantom City

LOLCats has given birth to LOLCode, which I’m pretty sure is the programming language of the future. Consider:

I HAS A <var> ITZ …

Declare a variable. Note the following:

• Every variable is an array.
• ITZ … has been reserved for future usage and should not be used (except possibly for initialization of single-element arrays)
• At present, all arrays are heterogeneous (they can have different types of values in them). This may change in the future!

All values are typed, and the types are:

• NUMBAR (signed integer, at least 32 bits wide)
• YARN (string)
• ARRAY (contains NUMBARs and/or YARNs and/or ARRAYs)

Currently the interpreter and/or compiler does type checking at compile and/or runtime. This may get nailed down to one or the other in future recommendations.

There is also a .NET compiler.

I’m going to be lucky if I can get through the day without typing CAN HAS or KTHXBYE into my code.

Update: Good examples of code.

Link courtesy of Boing Boing. Title courtesy of PawSense.

Watching nature shows as a kid, one of the things I found most interesting is that apparently every form of life in Australia is dangerous. Sharks, snakes, spiders…even koalas, with their deceptively cute looks and long claws…everything moving can kill you. (Well, except for Michael “Aussie” Southam from ESPN’s Madden Nation. Then again, he could just be lulling his prey into a false sense of security.) My Australian doctor has a poster of the alphabet made up of her native land’s animals; I like to think of it as My First Deadly Alphabet.

India should have had the same reputation with me. After all, there are cobras, tigers, and crocodiles. However, I never thought of it as particularly scary until I read these stories:

First, the deputy mayor of Delhi has been killed by monkeys. Roving packs of wild rhesus monkeys have become more dangerous over time due to their adaptation to the urban environment. The solution? Release “larger, more ferocious langur monkeys” to go after the smaller monkeys. I foresee absolutely no problems there.

Second, a news service is carrying the story of a tree in southern India that eats cows. I’m not saying it exists. I’m just saying you can’t trust the trees either.

So, to recap, if you try to get away from the cobras, tigers, and crocodiles, and you get near a tree, it might try to eat you. If you stay in an urban environment, you are easy prey for roving packs of monkeys being chased by larger roving packs of larger monkeys. Yep, India is now my new Australia.

Links courtesy of Boing Boing, which has some of the best news ever.

When making tough decisions in life, sometimes it seems like you should ask yourself “What Would Chuck Norris Do?” This is a mistake, because you are not capable of doing what Chuck Norris would do. So, anyone who was thinking of endorsing Mike Huckabee for President? Don’t. He’s got all the endorsement he’ll need.

Oh, and by the way, Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos? Best five-episode animated series framed by live-action Chuck Norris segments from what appeared to be his basement ever.

It are these people’s birthday too:

• Sir Christopher Wren, English architect
• John Dewey, American philosopher
• Bela Lugosi, Hungarian-born actor
• Jelly Roll Morton, American composer
• Grandpa Jones, American banjo player and singer
• Tom Petty, American musician
• Scott Hall, American professional wrestler
• Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Al-Qaeda leader
• Snoop Dogg, American rapper

As well as these two who are exactly as old as me:

• Chavo Guerrero, Jr., American professional wrestler
• Michelle Malkin, American political commentator and author

On this day, by the BBC and The New York Times.

more funny pictures

I just saw a sign at Burger King that carried the normal verbiage about shirts and shoes, but also had one interesting addition:

Only medically necessary animals allowed inside.

I’m assuming they mean helper animals, but I can’t get the image out of my head of an older person walking in with an IV tube attached to a monkey.

Last Sunday’s games weren’t great for anyone in our league, but no one was able to accomplish what mine did: 51 points. Still in seventh place, oddly enough.

QB Ben Roethlisberger: One touchdown, which put him in the top spot for points scored. Yay for ball control.

WR Wes Welker: 19 yards against the surprising Browns defense.

WR Calvin Johnson: 3 yards against the surprising Redskins defense. It’s a theme!

WR Marques Colston: Had the best day of all: 31 yards. Wow.

RB Kevin Jones: Not a bad day for a guy who’s barely been able to play this season. I don’t know how the Lions are using him, but I like the running/receiving combination.

RB Frank Gore: Probably should have listened to my inner voice that says, “Don’t start anyone who’s playing against the Ravens.”

TE Dallas Clark: Another touchdown! What’s the record for tight ends?

K Jason Elam: He provided the only points against San Diego. Unfortunately, Denver didn’t score many points against SD.

DEF Carolina: Decent interception numbers. Playing against QB Drew Brees has its advantages.

Points Scored: 51.

Points Left on the Bench: 25. No one was having a good day. Bench has scored 216 points so far.

Big Changes: Goodbye, Drew Brees. Picked up David Garrard to replace him. Not a lot of scoring, but few mistakes. Dropped RB Thomas Jones for TE Chris Cooley (with a brief flirtation with QB Kurt Warner) due to a bye week for Dallas Clark.

Benched No More: Almost not worth talking about. I have so many players on their bye week everyone who isn’t on a bye is starting.

Watching: Kurt Warner, now that he’s starting, but he has a tough schedule coming up.

On TV tonight: Right now, It’s LSU vs. Kentucky in overtime. The CBS color commentator (Gary Danielson?) has apparently converted to a religion centered on LSU coach Les Miles. The best line, after a disputed touchdown call for Kentucky? “Read Les Miles’ lips! He says they didn’t get in!”

Interesting test for whether you use more of your right brain or your left. If you see the dancer spinning clockwise, you’re using the right brain; counter-clockwise, the left. Not sure how accurate it is, but it’s a weird effect.

When I load the page, I can’t help but see her going clockwise. If I just watch the picture move, it stays clockwise. However, about the moment I noticed that the dancer appeared to be…ah…more anatomically correct than you would expect a computer-generated silhouette to be, she flipped counter-clockwise. It takes a bit, but for me looking directly at any detail in the image flips the motion to counter-clockwise. That might actually make sense, given the descriptions of right vs. left brain they use.

Link courtesy of Too Many Topics, Too Many Time, which has a different trigger for flipping the rotation.

And, just for today:

I just upgraded to release 2.3 for WordPress, named “Dexter.” Seems to have run pretty smoothly, and the new release has a plugin checker that lets you know about the latest versions of your plugins. (Also, integrated tagging! Which I might use at some point, maybe.)

However, just in case you run into the same error I did, mentioning the non-existence of the “post2cat” table, upgrade your Google Sitemap plugin. The plugin checker doesn’t recognize there is a new version yet, and the older one isn’t entirely compatible with Dexter.

The team did better last Sunday, but stayed stuck in 7th place in the league. Unexpectedly good games from some players, however.

QB Ben Roethlisberger: Two TDs, two INTs. Too bad about the INTs, but that’s about the production I would expect from a Steelers QB. Drew Brees, on the other hand, had a much better week than usual. He had a bye.

WR Wes Welker: Wish Tom Brady wasn’t in love with Randy Moss.

WR Bernard Berrian: Looks like Brian Griese produces about the same result as Rex Grossman.

WR Drew Bennett: I know…Rams. My other two wide receiver options were out.

RB Adrian Peterson: Why feel the need to start Chester Taylor, Vikings? The only problem with AP is that he plays for Minnesota, which is allergic to scoring.

RB Willis McGahee: Logical play against the Browns, but Cleveland kicked Baltimore’s butt. Good.

TE Dallas Clark: He is the reason fantasy football teams have a tight end position. Leading the Colts in receiving. Saving my team each week.

K Jason Elam: Good game against Indy. Denver doesn’t have much other offense.

DEF Carolina: Not looking good against Tampa Bay. Nobody looked good against Tampa Bay.

Points Scored: 86.

Points Left on the Bench: 23. Bye week and injuries hurt the bench scoring. 191 points so far.

Big Changes: The Rams’ offensive woes might last all season. Dropped RB Brian Leonard and Drew Bennett. Brought back RB Thomas Jones and added WR Hines Ward. Both are pretty fragile this season. but have potential.

Benched No More: A lot of changes due to bye weeks and injuries. WR Calvin Johnson is back from his back injury, and WR Marques Colston is back as well. RB Frank Gore is playing against an overrated Baltimore defense, and RB Kevin Jones is in due to his success around the goal line. (That, and AP is out this week.)

Watching: Almost any QB besides Drew Brees, but I’m giving him another week at least. Matt Schaub, David Garrard, and Joey Harrington…WHAT?!?…are all good options.

On TV tonight: Stuff on our DVR, because it’s rapidly failing. You won’t be at our house, thought, so I’d suggest LSU/Florida. The Tebow will be playing The Number One Team in the Land.