The Phantom City

Blurb on Yahoo’s front page today, about the oldest man in the U.S. dying:

George Francis lived through both world wars and the election of the first black president.

Actually, the article is neat, since it points out he voted for FDR and Obama, but I was struck by the choice of chronological touchstones.

This meme is wandering around on Facebook, but I thought I’d copy it here just to stay true to my old dislike of walled gardens like Facebook. (Even though I check it every day.)

Anyway, it’s a list of sixteen things people might not know about you. I can do this, because there are at least sixteen things even I don’t know about me.

1. When I was young, my mom used to send the cat upstairs to wake me up in the mornings. That worked the 50% of the time the cat decided he wanted the bed to himself.

2. My wife only has one regret. I’ve got more, but if I didn’t have any regrets, I’d have to make some up. Otherwise life wouldn’t feel particularly normal.

3. When I took driver’s ed through a private driving school, I learned about driving in a 1970’s-vintage Cadillac Tank. During my first lesson, I ran a guy off the road. He was unhappy. My old, chain-smoking, raspy-voiced, female driving teacher was unfazed.

4. I decided a while back that I wasn’t handling my periodic depressions and memory problems any better in my 30s than I did in my 20s, so I decided to try counseling. Despite my original misgivings, it actually works! Guess it depends on the therapist. And whether you’re paying attention.

5. My ratio of personal intelligence versus the mental challenges of life peaked when I was in elementary school. Now it’s getting closer to 1:1. That makes me feel dumber.

6. When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a pirate. I still do.

7. I’m meaner and more quick-tempered than most people think, but it costs, so I try not to be.

8. Like my wife, I’m also a sucker for unrequited love, but only if it’s requited after a while. Otherwise it just sucks to be that person.

9. If you asked me, I’d always say family and friends are more important than work. The balance of my actual efforts seem to give the lie to that, though.

10. If I yawn in your face, it’s not because you’re boring me. It’s because I’m sleepy. If you’re boring me, I concentrate on not yawning.

11. Hamburgers are nature’s most perfect food…or bacon…or potatoes…Yeah, I’m healthy.

12. I still read comic books. The new ones aren’t as good as the old ones, though.

13. I make other people be logical with their arguments, but personally I rely on intuition.

14. 75% of my clothes are plaid…Yeah, I’m fashionable.

15. I am not an elegant programmer…yet. I’m better at solving problems than creating masterpieces.

16. I’m really, really lucky and blessed.

To be honest, I’m kind of impressed. If it had been me, the first shoe would have hit me in the face, and the second shoe would hit me while I was wondering why someone was throwing shoes, yet he dodges them like he’s been dodging shoes all of his life.

I really, really want this to be a full-length movie.

Video courtesy of Chris Dane Owens. Link courtesy of Every Day Should Be Saturday.