Time‘s Person of the Year is me! I didn’t even realize I was up for it, but now that I’ve found out, I pledge to use my newfound status to…wait…never mind. Time‘s Person of the Year is You. That’s right…You. Not me. All of You. Everyone else besides Me.

Guess there’s always next year. That should just be down to me, and all of the babies born next year. I think I can beat out a bunch of babies. (Who am I kidding? They’ll be cute.)