Notes from our travels across a mysterious world.

Category: Sports (Page 2 of 8)

Fantasy Football: Coming Out Flat, Week 3

Even later on this report. Maybe I should just accept the inevitable. 🙂

Tried to adjust my starting lineup based on opponents. Not smart.

QB Drew Brees: 4 INTs, 1 fumble. Are you kidding? He’s going to find out he’s colorblind before the end of the season.

WR Marques Colston: If it’s completed, it’s completed to Colston.

WR Calvin Johnson: 58 yards, and then a back injury. Hopefully he’ll still be ready to go this week.

WR Wes Welker: Even just a little bit of Tom Brady passing is enough to lead my receivers.

RB Adrian Peterson: The rock of my team. And yeah, he’s on the Vikings, which means Brad Childress will bench him soon because he hates success.

RB Derrick Ward: I started him, even though he was playing against Washington. That means I cursed Washington. Dang it.

TE Dallas Clark: I can deal with a touchdown per game.

K Jason Elam: No field goals. Jacksonville traded offenses with Denver.

DEF Carolina: How do you not get interceptions out of Joey Harrington?

Points Scored: 68. Dropped to seventh.

Points Left on the Bench: 38. Well, not much help there. 168 points this season.

Big Changes: Dropped Derrick Ward for RB Brian Leonard. Ward’s carries will drop now that the Giants are getting healthier. On the other hand, this is Leonard’s first real chance to show what he can do.

Benched No More: QB Ben Roethlisberger. Brees needs to sit for a while. WR Bernard Berrian comes in for Colston’s bye week, but hopefully QB Brian Griese can be more consistent. And perhaps RB Willis McGahee this week against Cleveland.

Watching: QB Matt Schaub, because Brees is having some problems. However, Schaub’s line and wide receivers are all injured.

On TV tonight: Football, of course. Day filled with upsets.

Fantasy Football: Three Yards and a Cloud of Dust, Week 2

Running a bit late on this week’s update, but at least I get to watch Syracuse embarrass Louisville while I’m at it. (31-14 Syracuse, right now. Their road uniforms look a lot less like they made them themselves. Here’s their home uniform from the Washington game.)

I made a few adjustments to the starting lineup last week. Paid off a bit.

QB Ben Roethlisberger: Seriously, I had to start him. He was going up against the Bills. However, the Steelers’ run-oriented offense is a problem for starting him all year.

WR Marques Colston: The New Orleans offense is still terrible, but Colston got one of the touchdowns.

WR Calvin Johnson: What’s the record for touchdowns for a rookie?

WR Bernard Berrian: Seriously? KC stopped him? The best wide receiver on a team with Rex Grossman is only as good as Rex Grossman.

RB Frank Gore: His mom died last week, and he played and played well. Tough man.

RB Adrian Peterson: Got held to 66 yards rushing by Detroit, but also had 50+ yards receiving. I’m going to call him Roger Craig.

TE Dallas Clark: Peyton’s finally figuring out how awesome Clark can be. Or maybe it’s just the fact everyone runs Cover Two now, so the tight end is always open.

K Jason Elam: Denver fans must be frustrated about their problems punching the ball into the endzone. I’m loving it.

DEF Carolina: As a Panthers fan, I just have to say “Ouch.”

Points Scored: 97. Oddly enough, still only good enough to move into sixth place in a nine-team league. One team scored 160. (Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson.)

Points Left on the Bench: 62. Not bad. My starters definitely outperformed my bench this week. 130 points so far.

Big Changes: Not much. Dropped RB Thomas Jones for RB Kevin Jones. Kevin’s been a fixture on my fantasy football teams the last few years, and he’s back from injury.

Benched No More: No permanent changes, probably, but an experiment. Let’s see how RB Derrick Ward does against the Redskins. (As a Skins fan as well, I hope he does well and no one else does.) WR Wes Welker should get his share of catches in the Patriot offense, and I’m hoping QB Drew Brees has a breakthrough game this week.

Watching: WR Jacoby Jones, still. Andre Johnson’s injury means a starting spot, but what can he do with it? QB Matt Schaub, because he’s steadily getting better.

On TV tonight: (I’ve watched too much PTI.) The Great Dictator (1940), on TCM at 8 PM. Great movie, and surprisingly touching, like most Chaplin films.

Wow, 38-21 Syracuse in the fourth quarter. Ha ha. 🙂

Fantasy Football: Legends of the Fall, Week 1

Dum da da dum da da dum da da dum dum dum dum…Okay, so it’s not NFL Films.

Only a couple of weeks ago I brought you the thrilling tale of adventure that was my first live fantasy football draft. Now you get to see how it turned out. Lucky you. (Okay, so I’m stalling instead of mowing the yard. That could be a weekly series, right?)

My starting lineup wasn’t exactly one for the ages, but I was curious to see how they did. My ignorance of the usual Yahoo leagues meant that what I had been assuming was a head-to-head league turned out to be a points league, so a season is long enough to get things turned around in case my guys didn’t feel like playing the first week.

Starting for the Generals last week, with some of my thoughts after their games:

QB Drew Brees: So Indianapolis can defend? Who knew?

WR Marques Colston: The first time I saw him he was triple-covered. I have a feeling I’m going to be watching that a lot.

WR Jerry Porter: Not only does Daunte Culpepper not end up as the starting QB for the Raiders, everyone who was eligible must have caught more passes than Porter. Of course, he might just be working his way back slowly.

WR Calvin Johnson: Nice. Imagine what he could do as a starter. Can you hear me, Martz?!?

RB Willis McGahee: I actually watched the Ravens play and pulled for them to score, rather than be swallowed by the earth. So who scores on a running play? Glorified fullback Musa Smith. McGahee might put up yards, but now I think Brian Billick is on a personal mission to screw up my team. I mean, he’s got to be thinking about something besides football, right? Seriously, he just runs the halfback into the line most plays. To the trading block, McGahee!

RB Frank Gore: Couldn’t stay up late enough for his game. He scored a touchdown against the Cardinals. The NFC West lies defenseless before him.

TE Dallas Clark: He rushed. He actually rushed the ball.

K John Kasay: He’s a kicker.

DEF Carolina: Thank you, Stephen Jackson, and your tiny, delicate hands. Two fumbles add up nicely.

Points Scored: 68. Currently seventh place in a nine-team league.

Points Left on the Bench: 68. Apparently I’m not psychic enough to foresee the resurgence of Big Ben against a Cleveland team at least two years away and the amazing abilities of Adrian Peterson against a terrible defense. I’m going to try and keep track of this to see where my bench would end up in the league.

Big Changes: Goodbye John Kasay, Muhsin Muhammad, and Jerry Porter. Kasay is the Original Panther, but not irreplacable in this context. The guy throwing to Moose prefers another man now, and Porter got outplayed by a UNC point guard.

Hello, K Jason Elam, RB Derrick Ward, and WR Drew Bennett. I wouldn’t have dropped Kasay, but Elam’s game-winning kick as time expired is worthy of respek. The Giants starting running back and QB went down with injuries, which means Ward is going to be getting a lot of attention. And I just couldn’t believe Bennett was even available. Apparently he was injured. Not like it’s going to slow him down much.

Benched No More: Definitely Adrian Peterson. Possibly QB Ben Roethlisberger and WR Bernard Berrian. I’ll have to think about that.

Watching: WR Jacoby Jones, RB Kevin Jones, TE Jeff King, RB Brian Leonard. Come back soon, Kevin Jones. The Generals need you again.

Friday Bayou Bengals Blogging

Almost forgot about Friday catblogging. Let’s see:

After 25 hours of pregame show — seriously, it was 25 hours — the LSU Tigers beat Mississippi State 45-0 in college football. I only caught part of it, but I wasn’t exactly impressed with LSU’s offense. Not sure why so many sports pundits are picking them to play in the national championship. I think this is the same team that didn’t even win its half of the SEC last year, except this year they have a worse quarterback. And, let’s not forget, they still have Oklahoma State’s old coach.

Anyway, MSU’s QB threw six interceptions, which is impressive. Of course, just to be fair, one of those interceptions occurred in the end zone when the receiver was pushed to the ground by his face mask before the ball got there. Perhaps the referee standing five feet away thought it was a punt? So, only five interceptions. Much better. 🙂

Oh, okay…here’s a real cat:


Sort of.

Fantasy football for real this time

While I’ve been in random Yahoo! fantasy football leagues the last three years, this is the first year I’ve joined a league set up by a friend and actually participated in a live draft. So, I thought I would go the full disclosure route and list the players I picked up for what I think will be the league’s best just-below-.500 team.

Round 1: RB Frank Gore
Gore says he wants to get 2,000 yards in a season. I’ll need at least 20 of those yards to be from the 1 into the endzone.

Round 2: RB Willis McGahee
Yep, he gave up on the Bills, but he’s playing for the Ravens now. I’m counting on fear of Ray Lewis to motivate him and Brian Billick‘s lack of an offensive imagination to give him lots of opportunity. Besides, he’s been really productive.

Round 3: QB Drew Brees
On the plus side, he had a great season last year and an even better preseason. On the minus side, he is made of fine Waterford Crystal.

Round 4: WR Marques Colston
Why, yes, there was a run on wide receivers. How could you tell? Anyway, I’m sure all of the Saints opponents will have forgotten about his performance last season and won’t double-cover him or anything.

Round 5: WR Calvin Johnson
He might not have looked special in preseason, but he sure does in Madden 2008. Hopefully he’ll get used to the ball coming somewhere near him, since it won’t be thrown by Reggie Ball. Relax, Calvin. Embrace the easy catch.

Round 6: RB Adrian Peterson
The Minnesota rookie, not the one who’s going to play a lot for the Bears once they realize they are about to start the season with Cedric Benson at RB. Yep, I picked him because of one play against the Jets. That, and the fact Chester Taylor kept running into the line and falling down. I’ll look prescient.

Round 7: QB Ben Roethlisberger
Jon Kitna went one pick before this, meaning I’ll miss out on the 40+ touchdown passes he’ll be throwing in his mind. However, I will get to hear a lot about how Ben was so good two years ago, and so bad last year. To make up for it, every pass will be exciting.

Round 8: RB Thomas Jones
Heh, heh, heh…I’m so good…He’s going to be Curtis Martin this year. But will it be the great running back Curtis Martin, racking up an 1600+ yard season, or will it be retired Curtis Martin, eating chips on the sofa while watching the game?

Round 9: DEF Carolina
I make this pick every year. Every year I watch as division opponents just run up the middle every play.

Round 10: WR Jerry Porter
Hmm, one catch last year…I have a feeling he’ll improve that by at least 1000%.

Round 11: TE Dallas Clark
Dallas Clark rules! We get points for intangibles and downfield blocking, right?

Round 12: WR Muhsin Muhammad
Moose caught almost every single pass one season with the Panthers. He’s reliable, and Rex Grossman needs that. That, and someone to carefully hand him the ball from center, and then to point out where he should throw, and….

Round 13: WR Bernard Berrian
Another Bears wide receiver. Heck, somebody’s going to catch those Rex Grossman “passes,” and most of the time it will be a Bear. (The mind of the Sex Cannon is a dark and mysterious place.)

Round 14: WR Wes Welker
No, you’ve heard of him. Used to play for Miami. Gave the Patriots fits. Kicked some extra points for them. The sports magazines says he’s a QB’s best friend. Even caught Tom Brady’s baby when it came out. Impressed Bridget so much she secretly named the kid after him. The media says the last name is Moynahan, but it’s really Welker. And most importantly: He’s the Chosen of the Devil.

Round 15: K John Kasay
I did not see those two field goals get blocked…I did not see those two field goals get blocked…I did not see those two field goals get blocked…I did not see those two field goals get blocked…

And that’s it. It’s a lineup you could take out on the field and use to win the…uh…NFC South. Which is a proud accomplishment in its own right. 🙂

They Call Him Lightning

Just to show I’m a huge nerd, when I saw this news about Seth Adams being the likely starting quarterback for the University of Mississippi, I read it as Teth-Adam. Not too bad, but then I was unreasonably intrigued by the idea of a killer supervillain/hero with the power of seven ancient gods playing in the SEC.

“The line collapses and Dempsey’s getting a free shot at the quarterback…OH…Oh my! Teth-Adam just threw Dempsey’s head to the receiver! The receiver drops it!”

“Well, Brad, normally he’s got great hands, but there’s a limit to the amount of horror you can withstand on the field.”

“Even if he had caught it, there’s a flag on the field, and I have to assume it’s against Ole Miss. Let’s go to Paul Maguire for his view from the sideline while we wait on the call.”

“GUYS, THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN! Dempsey’s arm landed right in front of our cart!”

“The referee has made the call…It’s a personal foul…unnecessary roughness against the Rebels.”

“Bob, it looks like Teth-Adam is going out to dispute the call…Our producers are telling me it’s a good time to cut to a commercial break.”

That all being said, I hope Seth Adams is successful, but how did Ole Miss get to the point of needing to start a transfer from Delta State who never started a game at his old school?

Link courtesy of Every Day Should Be Saturday.

Clairvoyant Wikipedia user not actually clairvoyant

Apparently the police have found the person who edited Chris Benoit’s Wikipedia page to mention the death of his wife hours before the entire family was discovered dead. A member of the Fayette County, Ga., Sheriff’s Department said of the mysterious edit, “It is unbelievable what a hindrance this has put on our investigation.”

(I didn’t realize Wikipedia was that powerful…yet.)

One hopes the police took advantage of this entry about tracking down the anonymous user through a couple of web searches and figuring out he was likely a Connecticut college student who throws in prank edits a lot. The anonymous user admitted to as something like that. (To as? Geez.)

They confiscated the person’s computer. Perhaps they are looking for signs of basic intelligence in its owner? (Should we return this one to the wild? Will it be able to survive on its own? Do we care?)

One thought: I noticed ABC News mentioned the user made a racist comment about Ron Artest. (Yep, that was racist, alright.) I didn’t see any mention of this edit about Stacy Keibler, though:

People want to @!$%# her in her lovely @!$%# and whip her ass til the dawn of day. Many people fantasize about ramming their cocks up her @!$%#.

Classy. (And there goes my G rating.)

Link courtesy of Anil Dash.

Who’s Number One?

Good times each year to see how useless media consensus really is in the sports world include the two drafts that count (NFL and NBA) and the playoffs of various sports. We’ve got the NBA Draft up tonight, and there appears to be two great players. Which one should go first to the Portland Trailblazers?

Greg Oden. Even though Kevin Durant looked better his freshman season than Oden, and has an NBA-ready game, you don’t get a chance for the combination of size and athleticism Oden supplies very often, particularly when it’s already proven on the highest level of college basketball. (This ain’t Kwame Brown or Andrew Bynum. Who both play for the Lakers. That makes me smile.) Durant’s likely to be a great player, but there might be someone like him available next year. That isn’t likely for Oden.

So, what’s happening? For a while, I kept seeing commentary after commentary about Oden as the presumptive #1 pick. Then I started to see sportswriters switching over to Durant…after all, he was a great player in college, can make an impact right now, and the Blazers need a small forward. C’mon, in most cases those recommendations have nothing to do with Durant’s qualifications; they have a lot to do with wanting to write something new and different from everyone else. Here’s a lesson: It’s almost impossible to be contrarian nowadays. Too many blogs and too many other writers specialize in it. Just write what you think.

Anyway, it’s not like it’s the worst choice in the world. You’re not looking at Sam Bowie getting picked before Michael Jordan; at worst, you’re likely to be looking at Akeem Olajuwon being picked before Jordan.

By the way, check out the NBA Draft tonight. For one thing, you might actually know who some of the players are, thanks to the new age limit. For another thing, there will likely be more talented drafts, but none more talented by design. The age limit pushed two entire classes of players together for one draft. And yet, somehow, Josh McRoberts is still going to go in the first round. 😉

Update: Oden went number 1. Stuart Scott just asked him “Who looks older: You or LeBron James?”

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